Fire the short-order cook!
I admit it: I’m a short-order cook. Those of you who are parents to small children know what I’m talking about. It doesn’t mean that I work in a restaurant. It means that I’ve turned myself into a slave to my child at meal times. In my defense, it started off innocently enough.
My son is not a giant. He is not one of these Texas-size children who seems to double in size each morning when he surfaces from the cocoon of his bedroom. He’s got long, lean legs, but an itty-bitty waist and, if not for the miracle of adjustable waistlines in children’s wear, his pants would be falling down throughout the day, and not in a downtown-hip-rapper kind of way.
As an infant, he ate everything. As a toddler, he could be bribed into eating most things and other things were easily “hidden” into his foods thanks to the inventive cookbook written by Jessica Seinfeld. But, then a month-long stomach issue when he was early in his 4th year, turned me into the short-order cook that I am today. I was so concerned with getting him to put some weight back on after that illness that I would prepare whatever foods he asked for. Then, life got busier and, for some reason, I never went back to the good food habits that I had tried to instill in him from early on in his life.
Flash forward to today. My 7-and-a-half year old thankfully does eat more than chicken nuggets. He’s actually quite fond of many fruits and an assortment of vegetables. He’ll eat green things, and fish (as long as it is fried), and can work his way successfully through a cheese platter. But, when asked to try a NEW food – one that isn’t part of the plain pasta, fried meat, or grilled sandwich food groups – he begins a fit that would rival that of a cranky 2-year-old in the middle of a supermarket tantrum.
I’m tired of being a short-order cook. I have visions of sitting down to the dinner table with one main course, a couple of sides, and no tears, complaints, or dramatic “Mom, are you trying to poison me?” statements. Now that my life has slowed down a bit, I’m willing and rested enough to break the short-order cycle, but I’m in need of expert advice from those of you with experience. He will try foods for his dad with minimal argument, but with me, it’s a “who can make who cry first” power struggle. I’ve tried incentive charts, taking him to pick out the produce in the farmers market, and having him help prepare dinner each night. But, then, he doesn’t eat any of the things he has helped to prepare…even if it was his idea!
So, any advice from those of you who have already been down this road? I realize that I’m coming to it a few years late, so please go easy on my long-running bad habits.
I have been fighting this battle for years and I’m still working on it. A few years back, I became a stepmom of 3 wonderful kiddos with terrifying eating habits. Dinner was fast food, lunch was a frozen pizza and the 20-month-old was used to drinking- seriously- Dr. Pepper. Cooking healthy, fresh meals for 3 picky junk food eaters who didn’t like any of the same foods? Yes, it sucked. Sucked. And took years to change, but it DID change. I cooked a wide variety of meals, and sometimes separated the kids’ food from the grown ups’ food before I added any fun seasonings. This is where the bribery came in. If they tried something new and liked it enough to finish their portion, they could choose between extra computer time or no chores for the night. Every week I cook 5 dinners that I know they like, one new dinner to try, and the last night is a family pizza, movie & s’mores night. I make sure they are hungry by dinnertime and keep dinner rolls handy in case they won’t eat something. I could lay down the law and force them to finish foods they don’t like, but I prefer the bribery route. Why? Dinner is a HAPPY time for the family. We have a rule that nobody criticizes anybody at dinner. If one kid is in big trouble for something, we don’t bring it up at dinner. Getting our big family together to enjoy a meal with happy banter is priceless and I am not willing to blow it with an eat-your-vegetables battle. Their palates have very slowly expanded and we cook MUCH more interesting dishes than we used to serve. So, we’re getting there, slowly, and it has been tantrum-free for the most part. Also, those gross buffet restaurants can come in very handy on days when you want your kiddo to try 20 new foods at once and you can’t possibly cook them all. Hang in there! Things didn’t change for us overnight, but they definitely did change.
Thanks Ellie! I think the bribery would be easier if I had one of your special cakes as the prize!
I BEGAN as a short order cook because my child wouldn’t eat baby food – turns out it was because it didn’t have any seasoning!!! We learned this after frantic gestures towards a curry lentil soup which she LOVED. But palettes change and now we’re a bit more simple. What I do now is use recipes that have 5 ingredients or less. I’ve found great success with simple, basic but TASTY recipes. A favorite in our house is Turkey Pesto meatballs which can be made in under 15 minutes and half the recipe can be frozen. Lifesaver recipes go a long way for us – I have a theory that they are easier on the little palettes. I’ll send some your way and hopefully they will work for you.
Yes, Cristina, please email me some of your standby recipes!